With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
