I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm at about main and main street
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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