I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Randomize
