ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
