You just made me feel so damn special
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
