it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
