he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I want a musical about memes.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
