i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
