i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
