is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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