I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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