On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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