Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
don't judge my taste in strippers
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
