I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
