im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
