i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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