I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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