i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Found the puke drawer
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
