so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
