i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
