Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The power of my boobs compel you
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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