She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
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