That's intense
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
