Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
