Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
