i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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