its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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