I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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