Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
