You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
