ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
