I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
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