The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Never underestimate the power of titties
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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