I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
