You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
