i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
