For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
