Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
They took my balls.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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