Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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