What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
