meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
