I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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