And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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