At least make sure they are 18
Why
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
