so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
