I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
