Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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