Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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