I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Houston, we have a squirter
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
