Rock
Scissors
Fuck
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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