I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
